Tuesday, March 31, 2015

The Nursery

So, here I am.

I dropped off the face of the blogging world, as I really had nothing interesting to say. Only tortured artists produce the best work, right? Or at least in my case.

But I'm back here, fighting the good fight. In a slightly different way.

Yes, I have Henry, the love of my life. He's so amazing! And big. He turned 2 several months ago. And we've been trying for another baby for 15 months or so.

I found out, while pregnant with Henry, that my new insurance covered three rounds of IVF. I was so incredibly certain that three rounds was overkill, and I would only need one. After all, it only took one official round (which included three frozen transfers) to become pregnant, stay pregnant, and have my little man.

But as it typically goes in this infertility hell, our first two rounds of insurance-covered IVF cycles have not worked. We've had two fresh transfer, one frozen transfer. Transferred five embryos total. Had two chemicals (one that just wouldn't give up... slow rising betas... WHILE I WAS ON VACATION).

I thought my local clinic could handle us. I switched from my awful RE to the younger RE in the practice. He is friendly and helpful, and makes me feel comfortable. But, unfortunately, I don't think he's experienced enough to deal with my non-diagnosis and mysterious infertility.

So, with my last covered IVF cycle, we are switching clinics. Going to Shady Grove. Hoping that this is the answer.

In the interim, I have a dilemma. What on earth do I do with the nursery furniture?

Henry's big boy furniture will be here next week. His nursery furniture is super heavy. So, we decided to move the guest room furniture out of the guest room and down to the basement, and use the guest room for Henry's big boy room. And keep the nursery as is. Because, you know, I'd be pregnant any time now.

But I'm not pregnant. And haven't even had my first appointment with Shady Grove.

So, we can be those people. The ones who have a nursery set up for an imaginary baby. Even if I cycle in the coming months at Shady Grove, and it works, there won't be a baby for a year from now, most likely.

We have guests coming to stay with us next month. Are we really going to make them sleep in the basement when we have an unused room, just housing baby furniture?

This nursery furniture is stressing me out.

Henry's big boy room!

And some spam of my big boy, all taken in the past two weeks.


  1. And through the magic of the RSS feed, the readers return when you write :-)

    Yes, I think you should move the furniture and have the guest sleep in the basement, and try to do something nice and extra to counterbalance sleeping in the basement (such as a mint on the pillow). Because your gut decision was that this arrangement worked best. And now you're second-guessing it because you're thinking about what it says about you. And you're only seeing the negative.

    Whereas I see someone who owns her space. Who knows what she wants to have happen in the future. Who is realistic about the weight of furniture. Who is hopeful. And who maybe needs that room set up to continue to have hope.

    1. And, now I'm crying. Thanks, Mel. You are so right. I'm worried about looking desperate and pathetic, mostly because that's how I actually feel. Today, at least. Hopefully tomorrow and the days beyond contain more hope than desperation.

  2. Hey and welcome back! I'm sorry you've been struggling with TTC #2. I am/was right there with you. I did the bulk of my treatment with Shady Grove so would be happy to give you some insight. I'm not sure they're the best for the tough cases as I turned out to be for TTC #2. I think we just got lucky. Anyway, here if you'd like some more info.

  3. Very glad to see your post come up in my reader! I'm so sorry TTC #2 hasn't gone so smoothly, but hope that switching clinics does the trick. Beautiful photos of Henry.

  4. Happy to see a post from you! I hope switching clinics is the answer you've been looking for and you are once again able to fill the nursery. I'd keep the furniture up there too - it's hopeful. And Henry has gotten so big and handsome!!

  5. Henry is GORGEOUS!!!! Model kid or what?!?!? I'm sorry TTC #2 has been hell again. Not fair at all. Wishing you loads of luck moving forward.

  6. Welcome back! I am so sorry that the previous IVF cycles did not work. I really hope that switching clinics makes all the difference.

    I would leave it as is, Mel is right.

    Oh, your boy is precious!

  7. Yep, leave it. Sorry you are struggling! So glad to see a blog post from you!

  8. Hey you! I have no advice on the furniture dilemma, but am pulling for you next time you have a transfer! Welcome back!

  9. I haven't check my blogs in a long time. So glad to see a post from you. Henry is adorable. I want to wish you all the luck with this cycle!

  10. Kara! I've been wondering about you. Not sure if you remember me from tww. My little Stella turned 2 back in February.... We've also been trying for another and done a fresh round of Ivf as well as 4 transfer. One chemical and one m/c


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