Tuesday, August 31, 2010


Well, as promised, here is a puppy photo! We had five girls to choose from, and we decided on her:

She completely won me over with her gangly legs! I am so excited I can't even put it into words. DH and I spent all last evening talking about puppy names! Of course we have not decided on one, but we have thought of a few "maybes". They are: Kelsey, Luna, Jemma and Cookie. But that list is a work in progress.

We are planning on picking her Monday (Labor Day). And I will be taking crazy amounts of pictures like any first-time mother would! :)

Monday, August 30, 2010

Tables, they turn sometimes...

Back in May I contacted a breeder of Golden Retrievers who came recommended by a family friend. She told me she was breeding her dogs later in the year, and that the pups should be ready around October or November. Yesterday I decided to check back in with her and make sure we were still on her "list". Well, apparently she decided to not breed. And she didn't call to tell me. Awesome.

I was pretty bummed out yesterday regarding this news. I had been looking forward for months to getting a puppy! DH and I would often talk about how excited we were and how we can't wait. So the lady without much business savvy gave me the name of another breeder for me to contact. I emailed her today, and...


I'm so excited! She said she would email me some photos of them today, so when I get them I will post some pics here. If everything works out, it looks like we may get a little four-legged bundle of joy next week!

I'm excited for many reasons. DH and I have wanted a dog for years, and we are finally in a good apartment for a dog (it's 3 bedrooms and quite large). DH can't wait to train the pup, he's so good at it! I'm looking forward to having some canine entertainment in the house, as Goldens are very fun to play with and watch. Also, I'm happy to have a fun distraction from TTC. Also, I've heard that having an animal or two can lower stress, so I'm hoping for that as well.

oh monday...

Well, it's Monday. My morning was typical of a Monday. Me feeling incredibly "blah" about the work week ahead and feeling slightly exhausted from the busy weekend.

We had a small "party" on Saturday evening. This past Friday, I made up a grocery list for DH and sent him to the store. I decided to try making pulled pork BBQ for him, because he loves it. On the grocery list, I put pork shoulder. I didn't put what poundage I was looking for, but the recipe I found called for about 3-4 lbs. Well, DH comes home with a TEN POUND pork shoulder!! This was one giant slab of meat. I had to stuff it into my crockpot! Well, since we had ten pounds of pork cooking, we decided to invite some friends & family over to enjoy it. I made fancy mac & cheese, which is bowtie pasta smothered in alfredo sauce mixed with milk, butter and shredded Italian cheeses. I also found a potato casserole recipe from Paula Deen, and tried that. It wasn't quite as good as I hoped, but it was tasty. But... the pulled pork turned out DELICIOUS! I was very happy with my first attempt. Of course, I made my grandpa's BBQ sauce to go along with it, and that makes anything good.

We set up a beer pong table and I only played one game, but lost terribly! DH played several games and lost every one. Needless to say, he was a bit drunk by the end of the night!

We had a great time, but I think that all the cleaning/cooking/shopping/running around I did on Saturday made me bleed more heavily. I had some bright red blood with clotting in it. However today it has slowed down to spotting again, thankfully. Knock on wood, but I think it's almost done with.

I feel like this post is long enough, so I will make another post with the bad news I got yesterday and the good news I got today! :)

Friday, August 27, 2010

finally friday....

This has been such a busy and loooong week! I'm so ready for it to be over. I'm still bleeding & spotting. 23 days strong now! If this keeps up much longer I may need to be committed. Seriously.

Two facebook "friends" announced their pregnancies this past week. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them. But it's also a sharp reminder at how miserably I am failing in that department.

I was really going to push for a September cycle of Clomid + IUI. With all this bleeding, however, I'm not sure that I should. I have a check-up with my doctor next week, maybe she will have some advice/answers for me.

August is typically one of my favorite months. My birthday, my brother's birthday, nice hot summer weather, etc. This August, however, has not been as good as I had hoped. I did have a wonderful birthday, and that was great, but the bleeding has put a damper on my whole month.

Hopefully someday I will get back to normal and can resume TTC.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

19 days and counting...

The Duggars are lucky enough to be counting their kids. I, however, am counting the days in a row that I have been bleeding and/or spotting. Today is day 19.

On August 6th, AF decided to show up a couple days late. Bitch. Then I had my surgery on the 13th, one day after AF vacated the premises. Today is 12 days post-op, and the bleeding is stronger and heavier than ever. AF will visit again September 5th.

I'm so tired of wearing diapers. My husband has nicknamed me "Paddy". We haven't BD'd in at least 20 days, and it's taking a toll!!!


Friday, August 20, 2010


Well, tomorrow is my 29th birthday. When I was young and would dream of my future life, I naively planned on having all my babies by the time I was 30. How terribly sad! At this rate, I'd be thrilled if I could just be pregnant by that time. I know everyone says you are supposed to make plans in your life and all that. I say fuck life plans! They never go accordingly. There is a quote from Harry Potter that I am desperately wracking my brain (and google) for right now, and I can't find it. ARGH! But believe you me, it's fitting!

So tomorrow we (my husband, brother, sister & gf, mother and father) are going to a casino! I can't wait. It's been 4 years since I've been to Vegas, and I've been itching to hit up a casino. We aren't going to Vegas, unfortunately, but it should still be fun. I plan to spend my evening bouncing back and forth between the roulette table and the black jack table. Should be fun! :)

Wednesday, August 18, 2010


Well, I had my surgery on Friday the 13th, and I didn't see any black cats or walk under any ladders on my way to the hospital. Thankfully, it was successful and I'm still around!

My alarm went off at 4:30 a.m. (gross, I know). So I jump up, take a shower and then wake DH up so he can get ready. He was planning on taking the 7th Harry Potter book with him to read while he waited for me, but we ran out of time and couldn't find it. I was really concerned about this, as you'll find out later in this story.

We get to the hospital and head up to the first waiting room. They called us back to go over some paper work (living will, etc o.O) and then send us into another waiting room where I would be called back by a nurse. DH was very concerned about the lack of magazines in the first waiting room, so I was happy that there were more options in the second one. I handed him an Entertainment Weekly while we waited, but soon after I was called back and he came with me. They weighed me, took blood pressure, etc. Then I went into a small room with a bed and I had to change into a gown and put some booties on. After I was dressed, I got in the bed under a sheet and just waited for the next step.

The nurse came back in and put the IV in my hand (first time I've ever had an IV). She was also interested in my tattoos. She noticed the two on my wrists, and then wanted to see the ones on my sides (on my ribcage kind of). Well, this proved a bit difficult because of the hospital gown which my DH had tied behind me. She said that it was better for them to be untied anyway (oops!).

The Anesthesiologist came in and talked to me for a few, then left. My doctor came in to check on me, and I asked her if I could do an IUI in September and she said yes (sweet!) so that made me really happy. Then it was time for DH to leave, so I gave him a big kiss and my glasses. I was now blind! (My contacts are -5.50 and -6.00!)

It was just me, the nurse and a lady who I think was the anesthesiologists nurse. They started the twilight anesthesia in the IV and we were talking. They started to wheel me out, and hit the door jam. Awesome. The last thing I remember is getting into the OR and seeing these crazy blue orbital lights that were very alien-looking. They moved me from that wheelie bed to the operating table and I don't remember anything else!

The next thing I know, I am in a recovery room and DH is there and so is some dude (who I think is a hospital worker of some sort). The dude asked me if wanted something to drink and I said "Apple juice" and he produces it! Yum!

Apparently I had asked DH the same 3 questions three times since I had come out of surgery. "Where you bored?" He told me no, that he read a magazine. "What magazine?" He replied with, "Entertainment Weekly."

"Was it the same one you read before we came back?"

Lol. Who cares if it was the same one?! Apparently I do, but anyway. A nurse came in to check on me. I was still half out of it at this point. She asked me if I had a pad on. I didn't know! How weird. So she lifted up my gown and lo & behold: a massive brick-sized pad! Just shoved between my legs, no undies. How does a pad even work with no undies?! I guess they weren't expecting me to leap out of bed or anything so losing the pad wasn't an issue, haha.

When I put my undies on, DH said it looked like I had a package... sweet. They said I could go after I got up and got dressed and went pee. DH went to pull the car up while an old nurse wheeled me down to the entrance. I didn't enjoy that part. She was old. I felt like I should have been pushing her!!

I was starving when I finally got down to the car, so we went to Bob Evans and I got a Country Biscuit Breakfast, and it was DELISH! We got home and I took two naps and eventually started to feel like myself.

Overall it was an ok experience. My doctor had told DH after the surgery that the cells had actually spread since the last time she was up in there (ha), so I'm actually really glad we went ahead and had it done.

She says that we can start TTC soon, but no tampons or BD for two weeks. The only problem with TTC right after is that the glands that make CM were burned off, so until they grow back my CM may be non-existent, which is one reason I'm hoping to do an IUI in September!

Sorry so long! <3

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Dwarf baby. Dwarf, baby? Dwarf. Baby. DWARF BABY!

I just read a blog post about the show "I'm pregnant and..." on Discovery Health. It reminded me... Last night I was perusing Comcast's OnDemand feature, when a little promo for that show played. This lady was pregnant and had a 50% chance of having a child with dwarfism, as her husband is a dwarf.

I started crying! Gah! Really, they can achieve pregnancy, and me with my "unexplained infertility" get nada?! Well, I get to obsess over TTC and I get to cry over dumb commercials for shows made to make people like me feel awful.


some pre-surgery thoughts!

  • I'm glad that my surgery is at the hospital instead of at my doctor's office. I can only handle that parade of preggos in the waiting room once every so often.
  • I was informed today that my eyelids will be taped shut during the procedure, and that is probably why I can't be wearing my contacts. WTF?! That's just a crazy thought to me. I guess it's even crazier to think of me staring creepily up at the ceiling while they are pew-pewing my insides off! (That was a laser noise, btw. Even though it's going to be some volt of electricity, I want to pretend it's a laser!)
  • I'm pretty nervous about saying something completely asinine when I wake up out of the surgery. I've never been put to sleep, so I just don't know what to expect!
  • I had to buy pads today for the first time in... ever! I felt ashamed, like I was purchasing an adult diaper or some shit! I really hope I don't have to wear pads for too long. They really gross me out.
  • I have a baby shower and wedding to go to the day after my surgery. I would like to attend the baby shower and not the wedding, lol. Not sure if I can pull that off or what. I was planning on blaming my absence on the surgery... Unfortunately some guests of the baby shower will in fact be at the wedding.

Monday, August 9, 2010

surgery week!

I'm torn! I want to be happy because I have a 4-day work week. But... Friday morning I have to be at the hospital at 5:30 for my 7:30 surgery. I'm pretty nervous just because I've never had any surgery before. I'm sure it will be just fine, but it's still nerve-wracking.

Things are moving along quite well with our business venture. On Wednesday we are looking at the location we are probably going to go with again and hopefully will sign a letter of intent with them. We should also hear from the bank regarding our business loan this week, so that's exciting. I can't wait for this thing to get moving along! Then this blog may be inundated with food pictures :)

Friday, August 6, 2010

and back to the beginning...

AF is here with a vengeance, and I'm back to CD1. I think she is punishing me for getting my hopes up this past cycle, as I have a raging headache and am sick at my stomach. We will not be TTC in August, because I'm fairly certain we can't BD for 2 weeks after my surgery. So we will be skipping a cycle and then trying again in September. I put a call in to my RE and am hoping to get in there ASAP after the surgery. They want to wait a full period cycle before I come in, but I really don't want to wait until October. Especially if this catering business comes to fruition, because I will be losing my insurance. Gotta love TTC!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

low temps

Well, AF isn't here yet, but my temp has dipped below the coverline. I wish AF would just show up. I am scheduled for my surgery next Friday, and I want her to be long gone by that time. Of course when I want her to show up, she has to play hard to get. Bitch!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

oh chart, why do you torture me so?

So, when I awoke this morning I fully expected my temperature to be low. So imagine my surprise when, squinting in the early morning semi-darkness, it had gone up above the temperatures from the two previous mornings. If AF is coming, I wish she'd just show up already and stop torturing me!

Take a look at pure torture and/or beauty:

Monday, August 2, 2010

All aboard the crazy train!

I have the willpower of...well, someone with no willpower. I went to Target today at lunch with my friend and I saw a two-pack of FRERs on sale for $7.59, so of course I could not resist. I decided to bring them in to work in my purse because it's about 100 degrees in my car and I didn't want the tests to get messed up somehow. After walking in the front doors of my office, instead of my usual left-hand turn to head towards my cubicle, I veer right and head into the ladies room. I peed on a stick at WORK! This is a new low for me! It was a BFN, of course, which makes it all that much worse. So I have become that crazy girl who pees on sticks in bathroom stalls at work. Before AF is due. Yep. That's me.

14dpo with a pretty chart!

Well, I am 14dpo today. AF is due on Wednesday. I have not tested for a couple days, as I am scared to see another BFN. If AF is a no-show on Wednesday, I will test. My chart is still looking pretty, despite a temp drop yesterday. It did go back up today, and is looking quite nice. Only time will tell!
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