Wednesday, March 21, 2012

i'm a walking cliche

Today's cliche of the day:

Preparing for the worst, hoping for the best.

And some examples of both ends of this spectrum:

Preparing for the worst
  • I told Buster (rather forcefully) that if this upcoming FET is a bust, we are going on a cruise or some other kind of exotic vacation. I don't care if we have to finance the whole damn trip. If I don't get a baby, I at least want a tropical beach to take my mind off of my pain.
  • I have been reassuring myself that even if this cycle doesn't work, I'll be getting a new "baby" in June. And the new pup will keep me super busy. Nothing like a cute and cuddly distraction.
  • I'm already planning my diet/exercise routine for getting swimsuit ready, just in case.

Hoping for the best
  • I made a purchase for our non-existent nursery. It's a fluffy gray owl from Pier 1. And I love him.
  • I have calculated my due date. You know, just so I'm prepared and all. (Oh, and that date is December 15, in case you were curious...)
  • I've planned to do things a little differently this time around, regarding my early ultrasounds (after a positive beta). Instead of going to my OBGYN for the appointments, I'm going to stick with my RE's office. Yes, my RE is typically socially-tragic. But my OBGYN office holds some really, really heavy memories. And I'm not sure I can do it all over again, and risk hearing the same words. So, I'm changing it up.
  • I've been looking up how many weeks along I will (would? could?) be for specific functions we have going on this year. My cousin's wedding in June? 15 weeks. My birthday in August? 23 weeks. Buster's cousin's wedding in Septmeber? 27 weeks. Ok, you get the picture.
So there it is. How I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for either outcome. Will it pay off? Only time will tell.

I have an appointment tomorrow for blood work and an ultrasound. Hopefully everything is still looking good and we are on track for a March 30th FET!

42 comments:

  1. This is exactly how we ended up in Aruba :) "If I can't have a baby, I will have a tropical vacation!" LOL

    I am holding out a lot of hope for you.

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  2. You could have a 12/12/12/ baby! How's that for fertile-esque optimism? :)

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  3. I am doing the same thing currently... If I'm not pregnant we are SO going to backpack in Montana in July. If I am we will so be staying at a plush B&B in Montana in July. If I'm not pregnant I'm going to start back at CoreBlast class. If I am pregnant I'm going to meet with a trainer for a new pregnancy-friendly workout. And blah blah blah. The internal dialogue never ceases.

    My fingers are crossed for your transfer!

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  4. Living by the same cliche. Love the idea of a tropical vacation (sadly not an option at the moment for me). Hoping that THIS is the cycle for you!

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  5. It's such a fine line to walk. Hoping you aren't taking any tropical vacations any time soon.

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  6. I am kind of with you, have decided that if we aren't pregnant by this time next year...we are going on a big vacation during one of my breaks from school. Can you say Hawaii here I come? Unless God blesses us with a miracle. Praying this FET is all your body needs to hold onto a healthy growing baby!

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  7. As lovely as a tropical vacation or cruise would be, I hope you don't get it. ;)

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  8. When I found out our ivf failed I started booking us a couples trip to Cozumel Mexico. We are going in June and it is much needed.

    Wow March 30th is right around the corner. I hope everything is on track.

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  9. My hopes are high for you!!! Positive thinking only... I wouldn't know how to get through any of this without it!! I am praying for good news for you!!

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  10. I got chills while reading your post! My first nursery purchase (right before our ivf) was a green monkey from PIER ONE...and my daughter was born Dec 14. I think these are good signs! Rooting for you!

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  11. I'm commenting officially for ICLW!

    I recently wrote on my blog about deciding not to go back to my gynecologist - however irrational it may be, I don't want what the future might hold to be affected, or even tainted, by what happened there in the past. So I understand why you'd rather stick with the RE.

    I hope the fluffy gray owl gets his little person soon.

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  12. I love it, that is so me too! I hope you get your December 15th baby!!!!!!! If not, go to Aruba, it is the best place in the whole world!

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  13. Haha I'm glad to see I'm not the only person that thinks like this. I told hubs if tomorrow's beta is negative I wanna go on vacation. He hasn't answered me yet but I'm guessing I'll go even if he says no. Ha! I hope this FET is your time. I'm sending lot of positive vibes.

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  14. I pretty much live my life by that cliche - otherwise I'd be a basketcase. And I second the suggestion of Aruba, someday I'd love to take a vacation there. I'm hoping yours will be "unfortunately" delayed, though. :-)

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  15. I'll be thinking of you and keeping my fingers crossed!!!!! Oh and that owl sounds adorable.

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  16. WOOOOOO!!! Good luck!!!
    It sounds like you are really hopeful which is awesome. I SO want this for you!!

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  17. I've been following your blog and am sending good wishes your way! I love your positive thinking, and am rooting for you guys.

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  18. That is right around the corner! Also crossing my fingers for you. A new puppy is a great distraction.

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  19. Preparing for both outcomes is a hard way to live (at least for me) but impossible not to. It's confusing. But please don't forget about the here and now. I know that's something that I struggle with daily- but I think it's important not to forget. TODAY you are hopeful... and that feels good.

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  20. I relate to your vacation planning! I did the same exact thing and am headed to Mexico on a cruise next month. Good luck and I hope there are NO vacations in your future!

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  21. Hope all goes well with your appointment tomorrow!

    And I'm SO excited about your new puppy in June. There is nothing cuter than a golden retriever puppy. Nothing.

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  22. I do this every single month. Probably not great for the "wait and see" attitude my therapist told me I should have but oh well.

    We got a puppy too during this journey. I just wanted SOMETHING to cuddle so bad. Turns out she hates to cuddle . HATES it. Figures.

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  23. I love both lists and I think they totally fit together! I will be doing just about all of the same things. If only I could find out the date so that I can start calculating!

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  24. Ooh, a tropical vacay sounds so nice.....I hope you don't get to go. ;)

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  25. Hi, dropping by with ICLW and I am going to follow your blog! I have been thinking along the same lines as you with this cycle. I calculated the hopeful estimated due date, along with when trimesters would end, how far along I would be during certain events. My husband doesn't think it's a good idea to get all caught up in a hypothetical at this point but it's something to keep me going through all this waiting. Best wishes to you!

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  26. I always calculate my due dates. Too bad none of them pan out. December 15th sounds like an awesome day I hope that it will be the one for you! If not a vacation sounds like a great idea ;)

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  27. I'm a tried and true believer in preparing for both best and worst case scenarios. My therapist does not agree with this philosophy, of course, but I don't think it can be helped! In this case, obviously pregnancy and baby would be best case scenario, but tropical vacation doesn't seem like it really belongs in a worst case scenario catagory either! I'm following your story, and look forward to hearing more:)

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  28. Hi from ICLW. I totally feel you on the best/worst thing. I keep fantasizing about going to France, and yet recently bought a onesie with a crab on it. Aughhh, the unknowns. Anyway, good luck on your FET!

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  29. We leave for South America THE DAY AFTER OUR SECOND BETA for FET #2. Avoidance FTW! It'll either distract us from failure, or distract us from freaking out in the time in between betas and the first ultrasound.

    I fully support travel as a coping mechanism. Fully.

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  30. ICLW yay! I am crossing fingers, toes, and heartstrings for you - throw yourself into the hope that goes with this one.

    I've told DH several times that if I'm a pessimist, it doesn't protect me from the hurt and disappointment, but optimism at least lets me enjoy each day. My hope is to go one more day along next time, even if we have another m/c. Another day is progress - it's a better failure this time.

    Therapy is my biggest investment right now and worth.every.penny to help me fight the demons of despair.

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  31. Love the lists! Good luck with your u/s today.

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  32. Hi there from ICLW!!

    I totally get what you mean. I am about to do our first IUI and I am doing the same thing. Our due date will be Dec 21, and I am getting a camping trip to Yellowstone if it doesn't work. I guess great minds think alike! Good luck!

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  33. Hi from ICLW! I think it's always best to look for the worst and best possible scenarios. I'm type A and need to have "plans" for everything. We're about to start an IVF cycle. If it doesn't give us a baby, I told the husband that I'm getting a tattoo in honor of our IF, we're going to the beach, and then going to Six Flags to ride lots of roller coasters!

    Praying for a great cycle and a BFP for you in Alabama!

    ICLW #14

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  34. Good luck! I hope March 30 is a very lucky day.

    I'm always figuring out how pregnant I would be (if the next cycle worked) for various events. Actually, I have an Excel workbook that tracks many things and all I have to do is enter my conception date and it fills itself out. Somehow this kind planning doesn't seem stressful, only exciting.

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  35. Visiting from ICLW! I do the same exact thing. I plan for the good and bad news..and I totally plan weeks like you did with special events. I told myself I am not going to do that again...but I know I will!
    Katie

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  36. Oh yeah...I hear you. I live by those same cliches. I have also talked to my hubby about a vacation if this FET falls through. I will need to get out of here for sure.
    I'll be a couple weeks behind you so by then you will be getting your BETA.

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  37. I always do the things on the hoping for the best list. A couple times a year I buy a little something to tide me over. This last IUI I booked a massage for 2 days after my beta so if it didn't work I had something nice for myself. It was a good move because it was negative and my massage today was amazing. I have already planned to get a tattoo if the next IUIs don't work and we need to move onto IVF. I was going to get it before we started treatments, but I realized I needed to try first.

    Hoping this cycle brings you your little one!

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  38. Good for you! :) I'm unable to get my heart and mind into either scenario right now. I can't even imagine thinking about a due date. July 20th is the only date I see.

    A puppy would be nice, though, I miss my dogs. It sounds like a good idea to me.

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  39. I LOVE that you're both preparing for the worst and hoping for the best. Its important to be ready for any outcome (says the obsessive over planner.) Also I LOVE your tropical vaca idea. Blue and I's Euro-vaca post failed IVF1.0 seriously saved my sanity. I'm not sure I would have survived those 3 weeks with out it!

    PPS its been a while since I've seen Kelsey spam, more please...

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  40. Here from ICLW, and your newest follower. Wow your FET is soon. How exciting/nerve wrecking! How I wish I had frozen embies left over to transfer. You and I seem to have pretty similar outlooks! I am going to Barbados for my IVF #2, and I'm calling it a 2 week vacation. :) Boy do I need one. I'm thinking of IVF as secondary to the vacay. And when I get back, if no BFP, I'm decorating a nursery anyway, and moving on to plan C,D,E, or F.

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  41. You are so sane! We went on a Caribbean cruise when we were at the height of our frustrations and it really was a much needed release. However, I was unprepared for how many babies and toddlers were on the ship. If we were to do it again, we would have gone to an adult only resort or paid up to a more adult cruise line (we were on RCCL). Hope you have many successes in the next few weeks and that this silly travel advice is moot.
    --Erin

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  42. We have the same owl in our girl's room. Hope this is it for you!

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