Henry's birth story, part four: the arrival

(Please note: there are birth photos in this post, including some of Henry with some gunk on him. You have been warned! And check out parts one, two and three, if you haven't already.)

Getting to my own room was quite a relief. However, by this time, I barely knew where I was. The contractions were close together and so, so painful. It was all I could do to get through them!

After getting set up in my bed, hooked up the blood pressure cuff and the stupid NST monitors (I say stupid because, well, they became ridiculously annoying as my contractions increased in intensity and became closer together. My stomach would tighten up to an inconceivable point, and the straps for the monitors seemed to make each contraction worse.), my nurse decided to check me again. It was about 12:10 p.m. And I was dilated to 8cm.

I looked at my nurse and said, "It's too late for an epidural, isn't it?"

For the life of me, I cannot recall how she responded.

Soon after I got in my room, my mom came in to check on me. She stayed for a few minutes, but during my next contraction she headed back out to the waiting room (which was fine by me!! She stresses me out a bit...). My friend and photographer had also arrived by this time, and she was posted up by the entrance to the room.

I continued laboring in bed, hooked up to the NST monitors, for the next twenty minutes.

So that's why the rails are there... for gripping the shit out of.

During that time, my nurse hooked another bag of something up to me. I didn't know until after she had it going that it was Fentanyl. My doctor came in at that point as well, and told me that it would help to relax me during contractions, but wouldn't help with the pain of contractions. That seems useless, right? But apparently my doc thought I was tensing up too much during contractions, and wanted to try to get me to relax somehow.

The Fentanyl made me sleepy in between contractions. I would shut my eyes, and then open them to Buster saying, "Keep your eyes open! Focus on me." I did not understand for the life of me why I couldn't shut my eyes in between contractions! I got a little mad at him, but there wasn't much time to be upset. I think it freaked him out when I shut my eyes. I guess he wanted me to focus on the task at hand.

At 12:30 p.m., I told my nurse that I needed to push. She decided to check me again, and all that remained of my cervix was a little lip. She wanted me to do a practice push on my next contraction to see how much of baby she could feel. My very first push was probably pretty weak, honestly. I had no idea what I was doing. My nurse just kept repeating, "Push like you are having a bowel movement," and I did my best. But, the push did the trick, and she could feel Henry's head. It was go time, and she went to get the doctor.

See the stupid NST monitor strap?? The bane of my existence.

My doctor came in, and on the next contraction we did another practice push (and being such a noob, I didn't realize this was how it worked. I thought when you got to the pushing portion of labor, you just pushed like hell until baby came out. I didn't realize you only pushed on contractions. Like I said, I was a noob!). My doctor was amazing, by the way. He was so nonchalant and laid back, but also comforting. I don't think he was expecting me to really be ready to push at this point. But after my first practice push with him, I think he realized that baby Henry wasn't messing around, and was ready to make his arrival. It was now 12:40 p.m.

After one more push, I motioned to my photographer friend to head back behind my bed (she had mentioned to me earlier that she wanted to be back there before Henry was born, as she liked that angle). I thought if she waited much longer, she might miss her opportunity!

I continued pushing during contractions, while my doctor became incredibly focused on me pushing for a longer length of time that what I was currently doing. He wanted me to push until he counted to ten...I had only been getting to about count three or four. So he started counting to ten on each push, and that was so incredibly helpful. Without that, I probably would have been pushing for days! But he was able to get me pushing for longer than I thought I could.

And let me just say right here how amazing my husband was through all of this. By the time I was pushing, I was no longer grabbing and squeezing his hand (I had moved on to white-knuckling the rails on the bed). So during each push, Buster would lean down and tell me how great I was doing, and how proud of me he was. And he would encourage me to keep pushing to ten. It was really just what I needed. Pushing is really hard work, and having him tell me how proud of me he was gave me extra strength.

At one point during one contraction and pushing session, my doctor noticed how tight my belly was getting and how the stupid NST monitor was cutting into me, and told the nurse to remove it. I could have kissed him.

A couple times, I had to stop pushing before I got to ten. I just ran out of breath and energy. During one hellacious push, my doctor had Buster walk around and look to see his son's head. My doctor's motivation was that Buster would then be able to get me to push a bit harder.

My doctor showing me how much of Henry's head he can see. I responded with, "That's all??"

As you can see from the above photo, the doctor showed me how much of Henry's head he saw on that last push. And you can also see the one nurse holding my foot. My other foot was on my doctor's side, like so:

My doc had me grab the inside of my thighs during pushes, so that I could really bear down. Once I started doing that, things moved more quickly. After Buster saw Henry's head (and all that hair!!), a new, reinvigorated look was on his face... he was so excited to meet his son!

Two minutes and one brutally intense push later, I felt my son being expelled from my body. The time was 1:15 p.m.

Henry's first seconds on this earth.

Henry giving a good cry... it's cold out here!

What an amazing moment. I think I was in shock. Buster cried almost instantly (you can see in the above photo that his jaw is locked... that's a tell-tale sign he's about to shed a tear!), but all I could do was to smile and look at my baby boy in awe.

My doctor used the aspirator to get the gunk out of his nose and mouth, and set him on my chest with the umbilical cord still attached (per my request... delayed cord clamping, remember?!).

After about three minutes, Buster cut the cord. And not long after, my mom popped her head in (which she also did during one of my pushing sessions... I frantically waved her out of the room), and came in to meet her first grandchild.

Grandma meeting her first grandchild!

Proud daddy saying hi to his son.

Henry actually latched on and breastfed for a few minutes! I had about 25 minutes of skin-to-skin with Henry before they even weighed him.

Henry weighed in at 8lbs 5oz, and was 20" long.

Buster holding his baby boy for the first time.

love.

I pushed for 35 minutes. The nurses and my doctor were pretty astounded that everything went so quickly, especially considering I was a first-time mom. My nurse told me I was "the talk of the floor". That pretty much made me feel like a rockstar. And not to mention there were other ladies on the floor who had been laboring for two days!

From start to finish, my labor lasted about twelve hours (from first real contractions to Henry's arrival). I feel pretty lucky that my labor and delivery went so well, especially considering my mild pre-eclampsia and blood pressure issues at the end of my pregnancy.

I did tear a little, and my doctor ended up cutting me a little. He said that Henry's heart rate was dropping on some of those last pushes, and he just wanted to help him along. But I only required two or three stitches, and he classified it as a second-degree tear.

Overall, my birth experience was very different than I envisioned. And even though it didn't start out so great,  the most intense part of labor was actually a really great experience. My doctor was amazing, as were my nurses. And I'm proud of myself for doing it without an epidural (even though I was begging for one...).

Experiencing such an amazing life-event with Buster right by my side was incredible. There were moments (days, months, years) over the past five years that I didn't think I'd ever be a mom, and to finally experience it... well there aren't any words. I've used them all up.

I'm just so in love.