Thursday, July 28, 2011

Pretending to be the me I wish I was, or how I'm going to fake it for money

Desperate times call for desperate measures, and no time is more desperate than now!

I'm a graphic designer by trade. The company I work for has other ventures besides the division I work in (government contracting). They recently opened up a large daycare, and more recently they have opened an ultrasound facility.

Odd, right? Well, yes. However, they are in the business of making money, and there are no free-standing ultrasound clinics in my area. Your only options for 3d/4d ultrasounds are at your OBGYN or the hospital, and I'm not entirely sure how many of those actually offer it. So, I'm sure the business will thrive.

They have asked a co-worker of mine to film and produce a video promoting the clinic for use on their website. The have asked him to do this after his normal work hours, and they will pay him overtime. He met with the owner of the company last night, and asked for help from myself and another co-worker.

Yay for overtime, right?! I rarely get overtime (ok, never), so I'm pretty excited!

But...

They want me to be a model in the video. And it's for a 3d/4d ultrasound place... so, yeah. I'm going to be pretending to be the me that I wish I was. The pregnant me.

I'm stooping to a whole new level of prostitution. Whoring out my emotions for time-and-a-half.

I know it's going to be hard. Maybe it will be the hardest thing I've ever done. Keeping my shit together in front of several male coworkers, plus strangers that work at the ultrasound facility... well, that will indeed be difficult.

Perhaps I can pass those tears of self-pity off for tears of joy in the video? Nothing like putting some pressure on myself.

I should probably start practicing now. Practicing looking happy while starting at a screen that is supposedly an image of the baby in my belly. Or maybe winging it is a better idea. I might actually just try to forget about the whole thing until the day of... just to unclog my brain.

Wish me luck. I will definitely need it.

17 comments:

  1. ugh, at first I had no idea what you were getting but now I understand and comprehend the suckiness of the situation. I am so sorry, hoping you are ok and that you get through it.

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  2. Oh wow - this sounds like torture. I can't imagine doing something like that. I am definitely wishing you lots of luck!

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  3. This is tough! Maybe you can just get a good mental picture of the money that the overtime will pay and how it will probably take care of your next wanding experience! On a serious note this really will be difficult and if you're worried about it you have the right to say no.

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  4. Before I say how much that's gonna suck to "pretend" to be pregnant, first I just have to mention how ironic, in a really sadistic way this all is. It seems this is just the type of thing to happen to you, or to fall into your lap. I have to laugh at the irony of it all, as well as your witty writing, but on a serious note I hope this goes smooth for you, that you help create an amazing commercial at the end of this all, and that you can pull through this. Good luck!!

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  5. That does sound like absolute torture :( But I totally get taking what you can for the extra money too. Good luck, hoping it goes smoothly.

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  6. fuck me sideways! what a nightmare. I'm guessing they know nothing about whats been going on with you. Is there a bloke there too who has been dealing with infertility too, who can "pretend" to be the happy but overwhelmed husband?

    Unreal!

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  7. OMG. This sounds like torture. But the extra money will be nice!

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  9. Ugh - stupid typos...had to re-post. Sorry. I said: I like what Stinky said! I say use the emotions to enhance your acting and just picture the money you're earning bringing you closer to your goal. Put as positive a spin on it as you can. It will be hard, but hopefully worth it somehow.

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  10. Such a strange situation. With my fibroids I've had a bunch of ultrasounds to look at them and I always kinda expect to see a typical baby uterus shot. Come to think of it, I once took my old cat for an ultrasound and even though he was a boy, I totally expected to see a fetus on that screen. Good luck & all the braveness you can muster.

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  11. You are about to face your fears. So hit the bitch head on and show that you are stronger and a fighter. This infertility is not going to beat you, you are bigger than this! Hold your head high and use that extra cash to spoil yourself for being such a tough cookie..

    And yes, the irony of this is unbelievable!

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  12. Do you really want to put yourself through that? It will def be a emotional roller coaster.

    Good Luck!

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  13. Sorry - don't really know where to post this, but I've been lurking on your blog for awhile - and just wanted to say that from all the misc TTC blogs out there - I pray every time i look at yours that I will be greeted with good news. Sending all the babydust I can muster your way - your time is coming - I just know it.

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  14. Wow that is going to be hard. Thinking of you. I know you can do it.

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  15. Holy Pantyhose Batman that would be too hard for me to handle. Good luck and I'll be praying for you!

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  16. Oh my..... Good luck!! You're a strong person for even agreeing to do it! I know you'll get through it and do a great job!

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  17. You're amazing. I'm new to the blog, and totally love it! TTC here, too. Ugh.

    www.yourmomdoesntreallylovechristmas.blogspot.com

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