The clanking of crystal, explosions off in the distance

It is no longer 2010. My new year has been good, one-and-a-half days in.

NYE was a good time. We went to a "fancy" restaurant here in town. There was 20 of us (including the two douchebags, who totally lived up to their reputation!). The restaurant must have been short-staffed due to the holiday, as service was horrendous (one waiter for our large group) and the food was disappointingly subpar. Yay for a waste of $100. I tried duck for the first time. I was not impressed.

After dinner, we all made our way over to our friends' (actually my husband's cousin's) house to party. It was a good time, and we didn't leave until 3am. I drank champagne out of a plastic (beerpong-type) cup when the ball dropped, and kissed my husband. I also told him I was NOT drinking to 2010, but to 2011 and a great year.

One of the girls in the group had a baby a couple months ago. Her husband had cancer, and because of that they had to do IVF, because he has few sperm due to the chemotherapy. I mentioned something about her baby, and she said, "Speaking of, when are you guys going to have one?"

And there it is. It's inevitable, right? When you get a group of barely-30-year-olds together, this is where the discussion leads. At least among the women. The couple seconds that passed while I thought of how to respond seemed to take forever. Do I just smile coyly and say, "We're working on it!" or... do I divulge the atrocities that have been our TTC journey. Honestly, though, I'm a pretty open book. So, I divulged.

We moved over to the dining room table to get away from people a bit, and I told her practically everything. I also told her to tell me to shut up if she was bored with it, as I can talk endlessly. I told her we'd been trying since 2011, and that this is my first cycle on a new drug. I told her what we had done prior to this cycle, and what a long year 2010 had been. My sister-in-law joined us at the table, and she knows practically nothing about getting pregnant. She asked a lot of questions, and I didn't mind answering. She implied that she feels like a "bad woman", not knowing much about fertility stuff. I told her that I wish I didn't know, because I really wish I didn't know as much as I do. I think all of us struggling with IF would trade our knowledge for an "oops" pregnancy.

It felt good to let it out. I told my friend, who did the IVF, that it was really nice to talk to someone in real life about this, who actually knows what things like IUI stand for. The whole experience was quite therapeutic. We were cut off by the ball dropping, which was just as well. There wasn't much left to be said.

___________

Buster said to me yesterday, "This year is already starting off better than last year, because we have a dishwasher now!"

Sad, but true. It's interesting how much of an improvement on your daily life that an appliance can make.

___________

 Today is my fifth and final day of Femara. Ultrasound/follie check this Thursday! I'm pretty excited :)

___________


I won't lie, I've been planning to use this song for quite a while on my first post of the new year.