Monday, January 24, 2011

Not-so-normal couple

Last night, Buster and I went over to the in-laws to play cards and eat dinner. Buster's cousin and wife also joined in the festivities. I have talked about this couple before, as they also struggle with infertility. They have been trying for 6 years for their first, and have been told IVF is their only option.

This past year, Buster and I got a dog. I realize this is old news to many of you readers, but bear with me! The cousins (who I will now refer to as The H's) also got a puppy (a golden retriever, like ours, and actually from the same breeder). The puppy that Buster and I got for MIL was from the same litter that The H's pup was from. Point being, last night at the in-law's house, there were 3 golden retriever puppies running around, as well as a 3 year old golden and an 11 year old husky mix. Lots of dogs.

At one point, during the card game (FIL was not playing), FIL saunters into the room and says, 

"You know, normal couples bring their kids over. You guys bring your dogs."

 ...


Yep. He said that. And he knows. He knows about our struggles. He knows about their struggles. WHY WOULD HE SAY SUCH A THING?! I felt the blood rushing to my face. I spat out, "Well..." and then nothing. I couldn't finish the sentence.

I did not want to bring up anything in case, just in case, The H's weren't offended by the statement. If they weren't, I didn't want to make them think of that statement in a different light. But Buster knew I was upset. I sulked for about 30 minutes, then forced myself out of it.

But honestly, do I really need more reminders that I am not normal? I think it's something like 80% of couples will get pregnant their first year of trying. Out of the remaining 20%, half of those will get pregnant the second year. I'm in that third category. The other 10%. No one wants to be in this category. It blows giant balls (like I need to tell many of you...)!

Why can't I be in the hard-to-get-in category in something worthwhile, like winning the lottery? Or finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? No, I get stuck with the humdinger of a title: infertile. (Yes, I typed humdinger! And I'm not even 80!)


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In other news, AF is not here. Yesterday, after our morning BD, I had some spotting. I assumed she would show last night. Not only did she not show, I have no more spotting. She is such a tease. I'm ready to get on with next cycle. But she likes to toy with me, so here I am, stuck in a holding pattern.

On my way home, I will stop at Walgreens. I need to get a new BBT thermometer, and I guess I will pick up a cheapie pack of HPTs. I don't expect anything, but if she isn't here soon I will pee on one again, just to make sure something miraculous didn't take place in my ute.

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I am inching ever closer to 100 followers! As soon as I get there, I will have a giveaway! Just a reminder! :) (And OMG how I love exclamation marks!!!)

20 comments:

  1. Sorry your FIL said that; it's a reminder, and it hurts. Probably thought he was just being funny :(

    You're not alone in the 10% of the 20% of the 80%... that's us, too. I'm looking at this year as "new", a fresh start to TTC. Hang in there :)

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  2. <3 I love exclamation marks too! I'm haven't decided yet how may I'm going to subject you to when I find out that you're prego! Probably at least 1000. :)

    Sorry FIL said that. He (like most men) was clearly not thinking!

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  3. Happy ICLW! I'm sorry for the insensitive FIL. I hate the waiting between spotting and am I pregnant vs. here comes af.

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  4. My comment was going to be like Aub's. He clearly didnt think before he opened his mouth.

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  5. Visiting from ICLW - and it's like you could have been in the room with my family a few years ago. My parents don't get grandchildren, they get granddogs. It really does blow giant balls. My family has learned to keep quiet about kids around us because we just don't want to hear about how we're not "normal." And don't you just hate it when AF teases you with spotting? Hope she just shows (or doesn't!!) so you can move along.
    ICLW #109 http://deepbreathb4theplunge.blogspot.com

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  6. Normal couples... Hate that!

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  7. *nods* My Grandfather in law makes comments like "So, is the baby factory closed, or what?"

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  8. Wow what an insensitive comment. Usually I let things slide because I don't expect everyone to think the same way as I do or to understand but given that he knows and he said it, very frustrating indeed!

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  9. I'm so sorry about FIL's comment. That was awful and insensitive and you didn't deserve it at all! I'm in awe that you were able to hold it together. I think I would have totally lost it.

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  10. I'm so sorry. Some people can be so insensitive. It's one thing if they don't know your situation and they make that comment but since they do...how wrong!!

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  11. Wow, sounds as though your FIL had a major brain fart. (Yes, I did just say fart!) Sorry you had to deal with such an insensitive comment.

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  12. DUDE. I woulda been like "Aaaaaaannnnnnnd, we're out," so kudos to you for not only sticking around but ALSO getting yourself out of sulking.

    And, AHEM, when exactly will you POAS? How long do we have to wait? ;)

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  13. Sorry about FIL's comment, people are not good at being sensitive. My Dad, who knows our whole story and actually went through IF with my mom for almost 5 years still says DUMB stuff all the time. I try and let it roll of my back but mostly DH has to listen to me fume!

    PS. I second the when will you POAS??

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  14. Ouch, that's a rough comment to hear. You took it well by not saying anything, although I'm sure you were just biting your tongue until the urge went away.

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  15. Hello! I have given you an award or two. Details on my blog. http://whatsinlaurensuterus.blogspot.com/2011/01/bright-side.html

    Seems everyone is getting awards lately, as I view your comments.... ;) Oh well!

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  16. Oh bleh, I'm sure he didn't mean for his statement to be so insensitive, but OUCH nonetheless.

    Are your cycles usually this long? Is your FF ticker correct? You're at 18dpo? Uhm.... are you sure there isn't a bun in the oven? I'll be hoping so for you!!

    And LOL @ the rainbow/pot of infertility picture. Cracked me up

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  17. UGH WTF @ your FIL! Shitty. Shitty. I'm sorry hun. *hugs* I love the rainbow pic - did you do that?

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  18. I'm sorry that FIL didn't use his brain before he opened his mouth!

    (Here from ICLW)

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  19. ICLW - That's a little like saying to someone - hey, normal people don't get cancer! One in 8 couples suffer from infertility. In any case, I wonder if he was trying to be humourous but it came out not so funny. In any case, evenings spent in the company of dogs is a lot less stressful than being out with a pack of kids. I know exactly what I'm talking about. Forgive your FIL anyway.

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