Yeah, it doesn't look like a normal cervix

So I had an appointment with my RE today at lunchtime. The office is part of the local university's hospital, so there are always at least 3 people in my exam room at a time. Well, the nurse, my doctor, and some other random lady who was dressed up came in. Before they started, I explained to my doctor that I had a LEEP on August 13, and that I saw my OBGYN yesterday and she gave me the green light for IUI.

My RE just looked at the nurse and the dressed up lady (with bleached blonde hair... who are you lady? Why are you here?!). It didn't seem too promising. My RE is my age. There is another doctor at the office who is way older. He wanted to check with him. So they all filed out for their group huddle.

I'm sitting in the waiting room, pantsless and covered with a sheet, hoping that they will let me do IUI this cycle. The door opens, and the trio files back in. My RE tells me that the old doc thinks it's advisable to wait a month or two, but that my RE would check out my cervix just in case it looked great.

"Yeah, it doesn't look like a normal cervix."

Awesome, bro. Thanks for that!

He said it looks to be healing, but that he would not feel comfortable doing the IUI. Because of hormones. I'm not certain what that means, I need to google my cervix (well, not mine, but "a" cervix). I know that ovaries produce hormones, but I didn't know that a cervix did as well.

I asked if we could do it next month, and he said maybe. Maybe?! DO YOU REALIZE THAT I'M A HORMONAL INFERTILE WHO DESPERATELY WANTS TO HAVE A BABY AND HATES "WASTING" MONTHS?!

Regardless, they all filed out of the room again, and I sat there alone with my head in my hands, bare from the waist down, feeling ashamed. Why did I feel like such a dumbass? No idea, but it sucked! I was upset right after the appointment, but after talking to my husband, my mom, and some friends, I feel better about it.

I am just the queen of getting my hopes up prematurely! I should probably stop that...