Tuesday, September 7, 2010

oh yeah, spectacular advice!

I was thinking today about ridiculous things people have said to me, disguised as advice, on how to get pregnant. I've seen plenty of ladies post similar blog entries, and thought it was my turn!

"Just get on birth control, it worked for me." - DH's friend's baby mama. She obviously got pregnant on birth control. I'm sure that lowering my odds to 0.1% would definitely work for me, especially considering that on any given month I have a 20% chance of getting pregnant.Great advice!

"Just relax and let it happen!" - Everyone. Especially my mom, who loves to cite the random lady she works with who tried for 5 years and then gave up the procedures and obsessing and then got pregnant. Well, we tried not really trying for over two years, and it didn't work. I don't want to wait until my eggs are all shriveled up and gone, and my insides are like the wild west with tumbleweeds rolling by...

"Are you having sex at the right time?" - Friend. Oh, you have to have sex to get pregnant? Is that how you do it?! Shit, I've been doing it wrong all these months! (Ok, maybe I'm being harsh here, but c'mon. I had sex-ed once upon a time!)

"I bet if your DH quit smoking you would get pregnant" - Friend. Well, DH's sperm count would like to disagree with you. 120 million, 97% motility sample for our first IUI. Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

"My mother had her last baby at age 42, so you have plenty of time!" - MIL. Well, your mother also had lots of kids before that, when she was younger. Obviously she was quite fertile. There is no way in hell I would wait and "relax" until the age of 42. I'm trying to have a baby here, not a hysterectomy!


  1. Your puppy is AWESOME!!!

    yes, that is all very practical advice!! haha, people just don't get it AT ALL, I usually just flat out say "its a medical issue, it has nothing to do with relaxing" I don't think people like my debbie downer approach, but it shuts them up! hah

  2. I hate hearing other people's stories about how they new a woman who tried for 100 years and as soon as she really stopped trying and relaxed, she got pregnant! Amazing!

  3. Oh, and tell your hubs NICE! on the sperm!! That might just be the best donation of all time!!!

  4. My mother in law said we needed to go on a vacation to conceive. I said, "A vacation won't make my ovaries work." Husband said, "Shhhhh, Lauren. Mom, we'll try it if you pay for it." ;-)

    It's so silly how insensitive people are. I wonder if prior to TTC, I ever hurt anyone's feelings saying asinine things like that.

  5. Oh I have one for you that DH's boss told him.
    She told him to tell me to just eat a lot of chocolate b/c she thinks that helped her get pregnant.
    Apparently they went I think to Hershey PA, ate a bunch of chocolate and conceived there.


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