Thursday, August 18, 2011

Sunshine, sparkles and rainbows!

I'm convinced that the sun is sporting a sick 'stache in this image! Love it!
I realize that most of my posts are leaning towards (if not fully engulfed) in the negative. And I am sorry for that. But unfortunately, not many positive happenings have come out of my TTC journey thus far.

Today, as a change in pace, I'm aiming for a positive post!

As the week has progressed, I have grown more and more excited for my birthday. We are having a little party with mine and Buster's families on Saturday night. I have a super cute dress to wear (that I got on that nightmarish trip to TJ Maxx a while back...), and that always makes it easier for me to get excited about an event.

Buster is going to smoke two pork shoulders for pulled pork sandwiches, my mom and sister will be making coleslaw (my sister makes the best coleslaw EVER), pierogi pie (layers of lasagna noodles, mashed potatoes, cheese, and deliciousness), homemade baked beans (yum!), and macaroni salad. And half a sheet cake has been ordered from Sam's.

I'm going to make some Jell-O shots, too! I found a good recipe for strawberry-banana rum shots. I'll be hitting up my favorite store in town, AKA the party store, to find some fun stuff.

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In other news, I am looking into an IVF clinical trial in NYC. I have been preliminarily accepted, but actual acceptance is pending on my CD3 visit with the clinic, and my blood work results. I had to have pre-IVF screening done, which included testing for HIV, Hep B/C, etc, as well as some genetic testing. Luckily my insurance covers the tests (well, 80% of it anyway), so that's a relief.

The clinical trial has two "arms". One is a mini-IVF arm, the other conventional IVF. The study has been going on since 2009, and has resulted in tons of pregnancies. The treatment is covered, but I would be responsible for the cost of medications and travel. It is still a significant savings, and I hope that it works out.

I'm trying not to get my hopes up regarding the trial, however. I tend to do that, and I often times end up disappointed. This would be a great opportunity, but it is not a for-sure thing yet.


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 I had lunch with my grandmother yesterday. I've discussed a bit about our relationship in this post, but it's really such a long, convoluted and complex story, it would take a week's worth of blog posts to get you all up to date. And that would probably be boring as hell!

But, the last time we met for lunch, I really got an earful of the whole "in God's time you'll get pregnant" thing. I left that lunch feeling really down about it, and hadn't talked to my grandmother for months. She texted me a couple days ago asking to take me to lunch for my birthday.

I was pretty nervous beforehand, because I didn't want the lunch to turn in to either a) a religious lecture, or b) a bashing of my parents. Luckily, neither one happened, thankfully.

BUT...

There was, of course, one comment that I really had to work hard to ignore. The baby stuff was brought up (by her), and she asked if I was still doing the shots and IUIs and such. I told her no, that the IUIs didn't work, and we are currently trying naturally until we can save up enough money for IVF.

She says:

"Well, honestly, I wasn't praying for you to get pregnant, since the last time we met Buster wasn't working."

(He had lost his job a 8 days prior to Christmas).

Oh.

Well thanks for the non-prayers.

Why even tell someone that? I can completely understand if her personal opinion was that we were not financially sound enough to have a baby, but why divulge that information?

I don't want to hear that.

12 comments:

  1. OMG, seriously about your grandma... seriously, why tell someone that? Ugh.

    I hope you enjoy your birthday :) Sounds nice!

    And really hope you get accepted into the study.

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  2. Whoa, I can't believe what comes out of people's mouths sometimes. I just always tell try to tell myself that people are good, but sometimes they don't think before they talk. Sigh, that's not much help.

    Good luck on the trial! That would be great if you qualified and were accepted.

    Oh, and have a great birthday and post that recipe for strawberry-banana shots when you get a chance if it turns out good. ;)

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  3. whoa, that is a crazy thing to say to someone. I am so sorry. I am hoping that you get in to the ivf study and think NYC is a great place to be (I am clearly biased by my love for my current home town). wishing you a very happy birthday!!

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  4. I am so glad you are feeling better, your birthday celebration sounds wonderful!
    I LOVE perogi!!!!!!!
    I hope you get into the trail!!!

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  5. I am going to pray everyday that you get into that trial! What an awesome opportunity! Sorry about your g-ma, sometimes people say stupid things and most of the time I think we inferts are saints for not punching them in the face (insert hilarious cartoon of you imagining punching an 80 year old here.)

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  6. I can't believe what people say. I agree with Lindsey above - sainthood should be on the way for not punching them in the face :)

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  7. Happy early birthday, the food sounds amazing, I got hungry just reading your descriptions!

    Totally feel your anguish about grandma! Last time I talked to mine, she told me that it was probably going to take me five years to get pregnant, because it took my mom that long...she also said she hopes she is still alive then..
    Wow, thanks grandma!

    We just exchange infrequent texts now.. :/

    Really hope you get accepted into the IVF program in NYC! I'll be stalking the good news :)
    --JJ from TWW

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  8. :D thanks for your support... still have yet to decide if we will do this cycle, or just keep trying naturally, decisions eh ?happy belated asw ell no? wasnt the big day eysterday?

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  9. I hope you get accepted for the IVF program, every little or big discount in cost you can get, the better!! Your Grandmother is from a different time - I think she means well, but it comes off as rude. I hear you on the losing a job, but unless you are calling them up asking them to pay your bills (which it sounds like she's the last person you'd go to) then it's absolutely none of her business if you are trying to have a baby while trying to get back on your feet... a lot of people have babies and then lose a job, there isn't much of a difference... there is never a "perfect" time to get pregnant and people with IF have to keep trying if they are going to get their dreams :( I don't think the older generation understands that - I'm not sure my Grandma would have understood my struggles .. and she was very pro-family and understanding for the most part. My oldest son and I were the only ones who could get her to smile when she was in the hospital dying... and he was 3 at the time. I miss her a ton ...

    I hope that you have an AMAZING birthday :)

    Happy ICLW from #86 :D

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  10. Wow, your grandmother is a piece of work. Good lord... do people not have filters these days? Just b/c you're old doesn't give you the right to say things like that! UGH

    Anyway, I hope you have a great birthday!!!

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  11. Hope you have a truly fabulous birthday...and that you get accepted into the IVF trial. Good luck.

    ICLW #19

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