Tuesday, August 30, 2011

here i was fated to reside

Just when you think you've escaped the incessant reminders of your inability to reproduce...

We had an all-employee meeting at work today. All the people from the corporate office traipse down to our site and talk about the different contracts my company is involved in, as well as other ongoing efforts to make money, drum up business, etc.

After the first hour of contract and project management talk, they then turn to the topic of their new ultrasound facility. Oh, joy!

For the next 30 minutes, we look at 3D ultrasound photos. The president of my company goes on to say that there are four things that will never change in this world:
  • people will die
  • um, I can't remember this one...
  • girls will get pregnant
  • and people will have issues affording healthcare
Oh those damn girls getting pregnant!

I can't tell you how enjoyable nauseating it was for those ultrasound photos to be shoved down my throat, once again.

But, I can take a little solace in the fact that someday, if and when I get pregnant, I will be able to have free ultrasounds there. I sure hope to really appreciate that, one of these days.


In other news, I am anxious and semi-excited for my upcoming doctor's appointment in NYC. 8 days away!

I have tried repeatedly calling my OBGYN's office, in hopes of getting some idea of when to expect the results of my IVF pre-screening tests. I would really like to take them with me next Wednesday. Everything I have heard about this new clinic (where the trial takes place) makes me think I need to be extra diligent in getting my records to them. They are a super-busy clinic, and faxed records have a tendency to get lost.

This also means that one of these upcoming evenings, I get to spend my time going through the novel which is my medical records from my RE's office. These are not fun times to relive. Trust me.

Speaking of reliving things....

I often check the stats on my blog, to see where my readers are coming from, and what google searches led people here.

I noticed that there was a post back in February that had gotten a decent amount of views this month, so I went back to read it. And I couldn't stop myself.

I re-read all of my posts from February up until my final, failed, canceled IUI cycle.

That was depressing, to say the least.

Reading my posts when I was hopeful, and then the next full of disappointment. I honestly cannot believe I made it through that in one piece.

It really dampened my mood yesterday afternoon. But, at least I made myself smile with tales of the Oaf who yawned at my vagina... sometimes I crack myself up!


The Decemberists: I Was Meant for the Stage


  1. I can't imagine sitting through all those ultrasound pics - torture! Very excited to hear all about your NYC appointment though!!!

    And I try to never reread my old posts... Brings up too much baggage!

  2. You craxk me up too!!!

    That must be really hard to work in a place that is a constant reminder of what is going on in your life right now. Work was my only solace, my place to not think about IF, so I just can't imagine how hard that would be.

    Anyways, so excited for your upcoming appt. I can't wait to hear how it goes!!!

  3. I hope your appointment goes well. You are right, when you are pregnant (SOON!) you will love getting to see your baby whenever you are worried or just because you can! I know it's hard now though. ((hugs))

  4. ugh your job is posing some serious challenges lately with that u/s machine.
    Sending you much luck on your consult in NYC. Can't wait to hear how it goes, which RE are you seeing??

  5. You crack me up as well. I wish I had your wit and way with words :)

    Good luck at your appointment!! Hope you get all of the paperwork you need and ready to go!!

  6. I'm so excited for you to start this clinical trial! I have to admit I also do a lot of re-reading through my rollercoasters of emotion. I'm not sure what I did before I blogged!


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