Excitement and apprehension
Obviously I am more than excited regarding my upcoming IVF cycle.
However, there is one thing right now that is weighing on my mind. And no, it's nothing earth-shattering or jaw-dropping. It might even be completely inconsequential. But, it's still there.
I made my first "local monitoring" appointment at my former RE's office. It is scheduled for next Friday.
There is a HUGE part of me that is incredibly excited, because this is the beginning of the next step. And I can't wait for the next step.
When speaking with the receptionist at my former clinic, I asked her who I would be seeing for my ultrasound. She responded with the name of my former RE.
Cue heart dropping into my stomach.
I realize I'm being a baby. I realize that people move on from clinics and to new doctors all the time.
But... do they have to face their former RE again? Naked from waist-down, vulnerable, and hoping that there are no hard feelings?
I'm having irrational thoughts of sabotage on the part of my former RE/clinic. This is crazy, I know. And I'm kind of crazy right now. I'm taking hormones, FFS! I HAVE AN EXCUSE!
Ahem.
Ok, enough of my neurosis.
There is another doctor at my former clinic, and I could see him instead. But, he's young. Inexperienced. Douchey, even. I guess I'd rather face an awkward 15 minutes with my former RE, who is older and wiser (??) than risk it with the young doc.
I'm contemplating not even publishing this post, because I know I really sound like a lunatic at this point.
Can't wait for the 10 days of Clomid...
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So, as you have gathered by now, I like reality TV "game shows". I like to think there is a distinct difference between the competition shows and the ones that follow around a bunch of idiotic bimbos (yes, bimbos! I'm now 80 years old, and use words like bimbo), who are famous only because their parents are rich or because they married a professional athlete.
I especially love the reality shows where something has to be created (Project Runway, Face Off, Chopped, etc).
But to the point: Buster and I have started watching the new season of The Amazing Race. First time I've seen this show, and I LOVE it! I have no idea what took me so long to give it a try. Especially considering my obsession with Survivor.
The biggest factor in me wanting to watch it is that two former Survivor winners are competing: Ethan and Jenna. I like both of them very much, and I hope they win. They seem like good people.
Any other fans of The Amazing Race out there?
However, there is one thing right now that is weighing on my mind. And no, it's nothing earth-shattering or jaw-dropping. It might even be completely inconsequential. But, it's still there.
I made my first "local monitoring" appointment at my former RE's office. It is scheduled for next Friday.
There is a HUGE part of me that is incredibly excited, because this is the beginning of the next step. And I can't wait for the next step.
When speaking with the receptionist at my former clinic, I asked her who I would be seeing for my ultrasound. She responded with the name of my former RE.
Cue heart dropping into my stomach.
I realize I'm being a baby. I realize that people move on from clinics and to new doctors all the time.
But... do they have to face their former RE again? Naked from waist-down, vulnerable, and hoping that there are no hard feelings?
I'm having irrational thoughts of sabotage on the part of my former RE/clinic. This is crazy, I know. And I'm kind of crazy right now. I'm taking hormones, FFS! I HAVE AN EXCUSE!
Ahem.
Ok, enough of my neurosis.
There is another doctor at my former clinic, and I could see him instead. But, he's young. Inexperienced. Douchey, even. I guess I'd rather face an awkward 15 minutes with my former RE, who is older and wiser (??) than risk it with the young doc.
I'm contemplating not even publishing this post, because I know I really sound like a lunatic at this point.
Can't wait for the 10 days of Clomid...
__________________________________
So, as you have gathered by now, I like reality TV "game shows". I like to think there is a distinct difference between the competition shows and the ones that follow around a bunch of idiotic bimbos (yes, bimbos! I'm now 80 years old, and use words like bimbo), who are famous only because their parents are rich or because they married a professional athlete.
I especially love the reality shows where something has to be created (Project Runway, Face Off, Chopped, etc).
But to the point: Buster and I have started watching the new season of The Amazing Race. First time I've seen this show, and I LOVE it! I have no idea what took me so long to give it a try. Especially considering my obsession with Survivor.
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The biggest factor in me wanting to watch it is that two former Survivor winners are competing: Ethan and Jenna. I like both of them very much, and I hope they win. They seem like good people.
Any other fans of The Amazing Race out there?
I can't even imagine going to my old RE for a monitoring appointment! I was scared out of my mind just calling to cancel my planned 2nd round of IVF with my first clinic. In fact, I was so scared that I totally wussed out and emailed the nurse instead... You are much braver than I Kara, I'm impressed!
ReplyDeleteI would feel the same way!
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure that I would feel the same way. If it were me, I might take a chance with the younger doc. I LOVE the Amazing Race...have not missed a season!
ReplyDeleteI'm a huge Amazing Race fan and have watched every season. I'm hoping for better challenges this season though. The past few have been a little too easy in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteI like a lot of the teams so far, so we'll see who I get behind over the next few weeks.
Oh, and I'd feel the same way about seeing the RE... it's like having dinner with an old boyfriend you dumped or something. Oh well, it's worth it!!!
Oh wow. I think you win the awkward award of the week.
ReplyDeleteYeah, it will be awkward, but the man is ethically and legally bound to treat you well and not sabotage things.
ReplyDeleteTotally awkward!
ReplyDeleteBut OH I LOVE the Amazing Race. Phil has the best job in the whole world. I've been watching it for years and am totally addicted.
I would totally feel the same with your old RE but try to remember that this happens all the time. I have seen this time and time again with people who chose to cycle out of town so you cannot be the first person to do this. Hoping that the scans are quick and easy, if all else fails you can always talk about the weather or the local sports team. Good luck to you.
ReplyDeleteHi! First time commenter! ; ) I think you have the ultimate "excuse" (though you really don't need one) for switching doctors--the clinical trial! That's really all you need to tell him--that you switched clinics to be part of the trial. No diss implied to him.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I do watch the Amazing Race, and am so happy to see Ethan and Jenna! I am so glad Ethan is in remission from his cancer. I love Survivor even more than Amazing Race, though!
Good luck with everything!
Your anxiety given everything that has happened is definitely understandable. I also agree with Lea that you just need to say you wanted to be part of the clinical trial. I totally get being nervous though, but don't let it weigh you down.
ReplyDeleteAs for reality shows my fav is project runway but we switched cable companies and I have been trying to get back on top of it.
Yes, big Amazing Race fan! DH and I play along, deciding who would do each Roadblock. Now it's even more imaginary, because DH just started a job where he would need to get permission to leave the country.
ReplyDelete