Wednesday, February 8, 2012

at least he's consistent

My former RE, that is.

If you've been following me for a while, you may remember my laments on the subject. I'm not sure how they could be missed, because I complain about that man a lot.

Here are some posts to peruse through, however, if you've missed all the fun:

So as you can see from those examples (or even just the titles), my RE has issues. He is not personable. You feel very tense and awkward in his presence.

Or maybe I'm the one with issues, but I'm pretty sure my issues aren't affecting our relationship. I've talked to countless women from my town who have left my RE's office (some in tears) never to return. 

He's the only game in town, however. So I am forced to return.

I had my CD3 appointment today. Blood work was taken, ultrasound was had.

I'm sure reproductive endocrinologists have to deal with miscarriages all the time. It's just another day in the office.

But to not say ANYTHING in response to, "We had a heartbeat at the 7-week and 8-week ultrasounds, but not at the 9-week ultrasound," well, that just strikes me as... cold. Heartless. Robot-like.

Alas, nothing was said in response to the reveal of my miscarriage.

I filled him in on what medications I was taking during my brief pregnancy. I answered his questions very short and abruptly, mirroring his attitude towards me.

It was awkward, painful, and brutal. But it's over.

My clinic will call me this afternoon with the results from my blood work. Here's to hoping all is normal...

20 comments:

  1. I really hate the fact that you have to deal with this man whom has zero bedside manners. It sounds like he hates his job and really shouldnt be a RE. That makes me so angry. Inferttilty steals so much from us and we should be able to find solice in our doctors.

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  2. Wow. I would want to move. That really sucks. Bedside manner is so important with doctors and 100x more so when dealing with infertility!

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  3. That's really unacceptable. And to be the only one in town means he has a monopoly. Translation: I can keep being an asshole and you just have to deal. I wonder if there's a way to advertise to medical schools the need for another RE in your town?

    I'm so very sorry you had to go through this. I'm hoping that the bloodwork comes back with good news. At least something positive should come from that visit.

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  4. Oh man, I'm so sorry you are stuck with a jerk doctor because he is your only option. Maybe once you are done with his office you can write him a letter suggesting he work on his bedside manner. Although, with no competition, I suppose there is no external motivation for him to change...

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  5. I wish you had more options and am sorry you have to continue seeing him. Hoping the bloodwork comes back with good news as well.

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  6. Ugh, I hate that man for you. BUT, the important thing right now is that AF came and you can move towards a FET. Hoping all your levels come back normal so you can try again ASAP!!!

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  7. Wow - how terrible of a man could he be! What a tool!!! But the good news is you don't need him to be nice in order for this next cycle to work. Hope the bloodwork has good news, allowing you to move forward!

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  8. Really? I can't believe he had nothing to say when you told him about your miscarriage. How awful. Are his success rates great, at least? I wish there was a way you could travel to a better RE and just have your early monitoring and lab orders sent to your local RE. Sorry. Jen (above) is right. Good luck with your b/w.

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  9. Wow, and I thought my RE was insensitive for telling me I needed therapy after my miscarriage, at least he said he was sorry about it! I feel for you here since he's the only RE in the area, I would seriously consider moving!

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  10. My RE makes an effort at being personable but I can tell its not her strong point. But to be downright unhuman is absurd! Is there any board you can complain to? Does he run this office? No other RE there. Argh

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  11. Sorry he was such a jerk :( My first RE was like that... it's like insult added onto injury.

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  12. You might want to look into anyone else with-in a certain radius. It may be further but if you don't like him and he is so unresponsive to loss, it can't be good for you. Please look into other options if you can.
    I'm so sorry you are dealing with someone like this who is supposed to be in a compassionate field!

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  13. YUCK. :( So sorry you had (and have to continue to) go through this with this doctor. :(

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  14. UGH! I'm sorry you have to go back to that douchebag.

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  15. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I had to do the same when I had to see different doctors in my practice during my m/c and some were so cold and heartless. One insisted I had food poisoning when I went to the hospital the sickest I had been in my life even thought I INSISTED it was not because everyone in my family had eaten the same thing for 3 days. I'm sure he felt like an idiot when it turned out to be an infection from an incomplete m/c. How far would you have to go to find someone new?

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  16. Ugh. I wish you had someone else you could go to. That man is a tool. I hope everything looks good so you can move forward!

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  17. Oh hun... :( Unfortunately I had the very same experience with my first RE. When I returned to her office following my miscarriage she said NOTHING to console me or even try to pretend to care about how huge that was for us. No I'm sorry, nothing.
    I hope that your blood work comes back normal and that you are able to avoid seeing this RE much in the future.

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  18. GRR what a d*ck!!!!!!!! I'm sorry hun. That is so cold. I hope everything looks perfect with your labs!!!

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