Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Tricks, treats, and the end of a haunting.

If the witch would have arrived last year on Halloween, you would have found me curled up in a ball, sobbing hysterically. Or just moping around depressed, muttering to myself. And truth be told, last Halloween my temperature dropped significantly (yes, I was still BBTing) and I knew the witch was bound to show.

And she did, two days later. Here's an excerpt from my blog post on November 2, 2010:

Well, I'm finding my mood getting increasingly bitter and depressed. I'm doing everything right, and my body just will not cooperate. I'm honestly not sure how many more CD1s I can face. It gets so exhausting standing up after being knocked down month after month. I know, it's only standing up, how hard can it be? And honestly (as many of you know), really fucking hard.

Depressing, right?

This year, I have a hard time remembering who that girl is. I know, I know. I'm not pregnant. But I have a lot of hope, and that is something that had really been missing from my life this time last year. Shit, who am I kidding? It's something that was missing for a steady period of about 10 months.

Maybe a hopeless 10 months doesn't sound that bad to you, but it was hell for me. I operate best when I have something to look forward to. It could be something small, but as long as it's there, I'm ok. 10 months of shitstorm and only a black abyss where hope used to be is a hard 10 months.

I digress.

This Halloween I was ecstatic at the witch's arrival. Not only does this mean I am that much closer to my embryo transfer, but who doesn't love a bit of irony?

I had blood work and an ultrasound done this morning. A bit ago I received the call from Alderaan stating that everything appears as it should, and we are on track for transfer in a couple of weeks! It's looking like a November 17 transfer. I will know if I'm pregnant or not by Thanksgiving.


In other news, some of you may (most of you may not) remember the abandonment I felt when my former OBGYN mysteriously up and left her practice. I even had nightmares about it! I'm weird, I know.

The worst part of the whole thing is that I had no idea where she went or what happened to her! Googling her name online revealed that several other of her former patients were left wondering the exact same thing as myself.

Fast-forward a little over a year...

I heard a radio commercial announcing the grand opening of her own practice! I was flooded with such relief, and that feeling of peace that comes when you solve a mystery that has eluded you for some time.

Now, I just need to hurry up and get pregnant so I can visit her at the new practice.


  1. Thanksgiving isn't far away. Such wonderful news. I am so happy to hear hope in your "voice". Having a handful of frozen peanuts is just about as good as it gets and I can't wait for the celebration when you get your BFP!

  2. I hope you have a LOT to be thankful for this year for Thanksgiving!

  3. This is your time!! Can't wait to do the happy dance for you.

  4. Nov 17th is a good day, my bday lol. Glad you found your Ob, praying you have to visit her soon!!

  5. i <3 the positivity, thoughts with you always

  6. It's amazing what hope can do, and I'm so glad that you have it! I am crossing my fingers for you, too!


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